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The Excellence Edge: How to Have High Standards Without Breaking Yourself

When High Standards Start Working Against You

I get it. You take pride in your work. You expect a lot from yourself. You probably grew up hearing things like:

  • “If you’re gonna do something, do it right.”

  • “No one’s going to hand you success—you have to earn it.”

  • “Good enough isn’t good enough.”

And for a while, those beliefs worked. They made you sharp, disciplined, the person people count on.

Until they didn’t.

Until the pressure started turning into self-doubt, stress, and exhaustion. Until no achievement ever felt like enough.

Sound familiar?

 

The Truth About Perfectionism (and Why It’s Not Helping You)

We think perfectionism = high performance. But the research says otherwise.

Perfectionism is actually tied to:

  • Procrastination (because if it can’t be perfect, why start?)

  • Burnout (because rest feels like weakness)

  • Anxiety & Imposter Syndrome (because no matter what, it never feels like enough)

The worst part? Perfectionism isn’t about thriving—it’s about fear. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear that without the constant pressure, you’d somehow lose your edge.

 

How to Keep Your Standards High Without Losing Yourself

Here’s the shift: Your standards don’t have to change. Your approach does.

  1. Redefine ‘Success’ in Steps, Not Just the Final Result. Think of success like a staircase—every step counts, not just reaching the top.

  2. Rewire How You Handle Mistakes. In EMDR therapy, we help people reprocess past experiences so mistakes no longer feel like personal failures. What if a mistake was just... data?

  3. Use the ‘Two-Year Rule.’ Will this mistake still matter in two years? If not, don’t let it ruin today.

 

Try This Today

The next time you catch yourself over-analyzing, delaying, or beating yourself up over something not perfect—pause. Ask yourself:

"Would I expect this from someone I love?"

If not, adjust. Because excellence isn’t about suffering—it’s about growing.

Struggling to break the perfectionism cycle? Let’s talk: Mindset Quality LLC.

What’s one high standard that actually fuels your growth? Drop a comment! Talk soon, Dr. Arielle

 
 
 

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